Numb3rz
Stats, ive got them coming out all 6 orifices.
At Devils ISP, everything was stats, everything was measured, fart for too long and your manager would probably ask you why your wasting company seconds with personal matters.
One single idea led to the destruction of us all, micro management, everything had to be broken down into itty bitty little pieces, much like Chinese food, fundamental question had to be asked about what we sweat shop.. herrrm I mean employees do with our time.
•How long does it take to pee, why can’t it be done at the desk?
•The phone monkey blinks 20times per min, we need to reduce that to 15 for efficiency.
•Phone monkey hasn’t been working for 0.0067* sec, give him a call and berate him for being lazy.
•Were giving phone monkey a zero for his evaluation because he didn’t pat his head while rubbing his stomach when doing the greeting.
•Make the customer feel loved by annoying them with a 20min intro greeting.
Here’s some numbers for the damn management to think about:
I had a Pentium III that was 800 MHz, with 256MB RAM, running Windows 2000, that took 15min to turn on and wasted 4 hours of my day loading corporate applications,.
My 10min breaks were not long enough to do a number 2, I could not go pee because I only had 2 breaks and I needed those to do the above mentioned number 2, we had to work an extra 1 minute everyday because management decided logging out 59seconds to early is bad for business.
Not to mention the 2.5hours it took to travel 1 way to the building, I can complain, the 5 hours I lost out of my day was used to read books, Da Vinci Code was finished in 6 days, HP and the half-blood prince was done in 7 days, while the entire Chronicles of Narnia took 14 days.
Oh one more thing, if I don’t pick up a phone call within 15 seconds I get in trouble, yet when the water breaks it takes 4 days for the service guy to appear, when the 2 microwaves broke it took 3 weeks for them to be replaced.
Management don’t answer to nobody but their salaries.
Lesson learned: You’ve got 6 orifices (sometimes 7) and I know where id like to stick your stats.
At Devils ISP, everything was stats, everything was measured, fart for too long and your manager would probably ask you why your wasting company seconds with personal matters.
One single idea led to the destruction of us all, micro management, everything had to be broken down into itty bitty little pieces, much like Chinese food, fundamental question had to be asked about what we sweat shop.. herrrm I mean employees do with our time.
•How long does it take to pee, why can’t it be done at the desk?
•The phone monkey blinks 20times per min, we need to reduce that to 15 for efficiency.
•Phone monkey hasn’t been working for 0.0067* sec, give him a call and berate him for being lazy.
•Were giving phone monkey a zero for his evaluation because he didn’t pat his head while rubbing his stomach when doing the greeting.
•Make the customer feel loved by annoying them with a 20min intro greeting.
Here’s some numbers for the damn management to think about:
I had a Pentium III that was 800 MHz, with 256MB RAM, running Windows 2000, that took 15min to turn on and wasted 4 hours of my day loading corporate applications,.
My 10min breaks were not long enough to do a number 2, I could not go pee because I only had 2 breaks and I needed those to do the above mentioned number 2, we had to work an extra 1 minute everyday because management decided logging out 59seconds to early is bad for business.
Not to mention the 2.5hours it took to travel 1 way to the building, I can complain, the 5 hours I lost out of my day was used to read books, Da Vinci Code was finished in 6 days, HP and the half-blood prince was done in 7 days, while the entire Chronicles of Narnia took 14 days.
Oh one more thing, if I don’t pick up a phone call within 15 seconds I get in trouble, yet when the water breaks it takes 4 days for the service guy to appear, when the 2 microwaves broke it took 3 weeks for them to be replaced.
Management don’t answer to nobody but their salaries.
Lesson learned: You’ve got 6 orifices (sometimes 7) and I know where id like to stick your stats.
posted by Ric33r at 10:44 PM
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