Rice the Ripper

I wont mention the company I work for right now, im helpdesk staff, which means I fix computer problems that users cause, my job is not to educate the masses on how to right-click.

I’ll call the company “The Hardy Boys”

The day at Hardys was the same as every other day, well, it was not the same because it was night and im stuck on night shift for a while.

Anyway, some management brainic decided to replace the kitchen floor with budget grey linoleum at the same time my shift started. Thus giving me 4hrs of industrial strength glue, glue vapour was making us as high as kites.

Watch this first before reading on
Charlie the Unicorn

In between answering the phones as “Candy Mountain” helpdesk and waiting for the glue high to wear off I managed to get some air, since I quit smoking I spend my breaks outside watching Sue, a female work college of mine suck down those sweet sweet cancer sticks.

The unthinkable happened as I came back inside, I jumped over a clean part of floor the cleaner had just mopped, landed and rip the middle of my pants, I had a huge hole down the middle.

Sue was on the floor laughing, bum crack showing and giggling like a school girl. I had other problems, taking a jumper and adding some ninja folds I had made myself a reasonable kilt.

As you may already know the ripping of the jokes begin, poor choice of words.

I then threaten them with the “sugar in the gas tank” trick, not the greatest of moments but I think I should carry some extra cloths around from now on.

Lesson learned, don’t jump over clean floors, let the cleaner do his thing.